Mob without system in Naruto world

Chapter 1: Prologue – never drink with russians

Have you heard of the multiverse theory?

It is said, that there is an infinite number of universes, and every one of them manifests itself in a shape of a mixture of every possible outcome – which means there may be a universe where swords and magic exist or a universe where the roman empire did not fall.

My next question is: have you ever heard of a country called Russia?

You may wonder how these questions relate to each other, so let me tell you what happened to me and how I am in a situation right now which cant be explained by logic.

I am a university student, who went to study abroad in Russia.

What my nationality was, is not important, because first of all, I am no longer in this world, and secondly, because there are more important things to know about me: for example, I was a true meme lord – I always had the right memes for every situation and considered myself intellectually above the mere human.

Either way because of my supreme humor and suicide jokes I got easily along with the locals in Russia.

So yesterday an acquaintance there called Igor, texted me that I should come over to him since he made some homemade vodka.

I am not really someone who drinks a lot, but I thought since I am here in Russia I should definitely try some homemade stuff.

Little did I know that fuckin Igor brewed something which literally wasted me so hard, that I woke up in a different world – or rather reincarnated.

I do not know how and why, but my memories suddenly returned to me when I was 3 years old, and to my shock, I recognized that this was not earth but still a world I knew: yes, it was the world of Naruto...

Even though I really enjoyed Naruto when I was a kid, and read some bad Chinese fanfics, truth to be told I am not happy to be isekaid here, the reason being that I am some nameless mob and secondly:

WHERE IS MY CHEAT SYSTEM????

Chapter 2: Eiji Nakamura

After the initial shock from the realization of my incarnation, I calmed down and observed my situation.

First of all my name is Eiji Nakamura - a normal-sounding japanese name - which I am quite happy about since there exist strange names in this world which can only be described as child abuse like for example Boruto or naming a girl after a muscular sword-wielding barbarian.

HOWEVER, what I am not happy about is, is that I and my family are complete mob characters - you may ask why I am so certain of this...

Well, I don't remember having seen any Nakamuras in the anime and my parents aren't even Jonin. THEY ARE ONLY CHUNIN EVEN THOUGH THEY ARE ALREADY IN THEIR THIRTIES!!!!

That is not even the saddest part...they were only promoted recently to Chunin because they somehow survived the rampage of the Nine-Tails in the village. They really didn't do anything other than standing on standby and watching over the Barrier which protected all the children myself included.

I guess the promotion was to the fact, that my mother just gave 2 weeks prior birth to me and she wasn't in her peak condition to fight but still choose to - but honestly, I doubt that it would really make a difference performance-wise.

They are that kind of shinobi that can only use some basic ninjutsu like the transformation technique and throw some kunai.

To be fair, they aren't part of any shinobi family, so they don't have any special ninjutsu....but still...

Anyway, my father's name is Satoshi and my mother's is Kimiko. Apparently, they both come from non-shinobi families.

My father didn't want to inherit his family business and instead wanted to become a shinobi. If I had to describe him, the term complete braindead would fit him best.

When I asked him why he wanted to become a shinobi instead of inheriting the business he said: "Son, in this world u can't have a harem if you are only a tanner. The only way to assemble a harem is to become a great shinobi!! I failed at my dream, but I am confident that you will carry it on and assemble a harem of...huh?....Darling, what do you intend to do with this pan?"

My mother chose to become a kunoichi to support her family financially. Even though she is also weak, at least she isn't brain-dead like my father and is overall a pretty serious and strict person.

It looks like I inherited appearance-wise much more from her side: black hair and a grumpy looking face.

So anyway, I am now 5 years old, and normally when you regain your memories from a past life you should be careful to not act differently, right?

To tell the truth...I kinda forgot to pay attention to it....but I don't know how but things somehow worked out and my parent's behavior towards me is still the same.

Satoshis POV

5 years ago, roughly the time the fox spirit attacked the village, my son was born.

By the way, many people in the village would curse when they think about this day, but for me, it was a lucky day!

I just stood there doing nothing, while others fought at the front-lines, and when this whole thing ended I was suddenly promoted to Chunin?!

Well anyway, at first I and my wife were really worried; Eiji, our son, was a bit slow and not considered very smart...he was one of the kids who would eat glue if you didn't pay attention to him for even a second.

Because I was worried I went to a shop which sells pills for shinobis.

When I told the old granny there, if she had any pills for brain power, she gave me a special one and told me, that it should be only used in emergencies on the battlefield because it has tremendous side effects.

I always knew I was smart, but giving a stupid child brain enhancement pills was one of my best ideas I ever had!

I wonder why no one had the idea before me? I should definitely publish this idea.

Anyway, when I came back I instantly gave him the pill, that is when my wife Kimiko came home.

She asked me what I was doing, and when I explained to her my brilliant plan....well I only remember her face which looked like she wants to kill me - hey there is no reason to be that jealous that I was the one who came up with this smart idea.

Weirdly enough I passed out after that, and when I woke up I had fist-prints all over my face, life is truly mysterious at times.

Well sometimes later Kimiko came home with our son, apparently, they were at the hospital - huh? did my son have the flu or something?

After that, he behaved a bit weird but since he doesn't eat glue anymore everything is should be fine - only that Kimiko is still upset even now.

Is she still jealous of my genius idea?

Chapter 3: choice of a mob

You are always staying in your room they said...

Go to the park and make some friends they said...

Now I'm here at the park sitting on a bench and watching other children.

"I have no idea"

How the hell do shitty brats make friends with each other???

Hmmm....in my university days you just had to offer some free beer so maybe...no better not.

WAIT!!!

Why do I even think about shitty brats!

The world of Naruto is a dangerous place to live!!!

Let's get my mind back to a more important topic.

Since I regained my memories I have come up with some options:

Option 1: living a quiet life as a non-shinobi...even in the unlikely scenario where I miraculously survive till the end of Naruto, what would only await me would be the era of Boruto - where damn aliens invade the planet day and night!!!

Option 2: Obtaining somehow a Sharingan or a tailed beast....nah - if I wanted to commit suicide might as well do it less painfully.

Option 3: Get strong enough to be able to travel the world and then just hide in some unimportant place...

Yeah, option 3 is probably the best.

So then the next question would be how strong would be good enough?

I should be at least strong enough to be able to deal with multiple small fries right?

So I guess around Jonin level?

Ok, that seems achievable even for a mob like me.

So next would be how can I achieve this?

If I just follow the normal shinobi career path with going to the academy and then just doing missions, I would just end up like my parents who only know how to throw some kunai around.

So to be Jonin level I would need some real ninjutsu,

I think when you are a Chunin you can learn some elemental ninjutsu from scrolls which you can borrow....wait what the hell are my parents even doing?

If they learned some I could ask them to train me...but I guess they are just glad that they aren't Genin anymore.

They really have no ambition at all...well my Dad has an ambition but let's not talk about that.

Anyways so that means I just have to advance to Chunin, learn some decent ninjutsu, and then defect.

I would be considered a wanted rouge ninja and would be in the Bingo Book, but it is still better than being forced to fight a rampaging Madara.

Graduating from the academy should be easy since I know which jutsu is tested as the graduation exam.

Yeah that will be as easy for me as stealing candy from children hehehehe

I also know the content of the Chunin Exams where Naruto and the rest will be participating.

That won't be as easy though.

First of all, I need to make sure that my assigned Jonin will allow me to participate in this particular exams.

Furthermore, I need to impress the staff there, so I can be promoted like Shikamaru.

But this will be really hard, considering how stupidly strong some of this generation will be - I legit will be competing against monsters.

But the problem is, is that if I don't participate in this particular exam, I'm not confident at all that I will be able to pass future Chunin Exams without abusing my future knowledge!!!

Just look at the dumb first test!!

How is a normal person supposed to know that you have to cheat!!!

So then the only thing I can do is to make sure that I will be strong enough till then.

Yeah...asking my parents to train me will be a waste of time so let's just look somewhere else.

Well, somehow it was fruitful going outside to think things through so let's head back home...

But why do I have the feeling that I forgot something?

"Oh welcome home Eiji, were you able to make some friends?"

Oh right...

"Yeah I'm now in friendship with nature and decided to live in the woods, I just came here to tell you"

"..."

"I'm just joking. Anyway, what's for dinner?"

While walking inside I hear my mother muttering: "this damn pill made him weird..."

I wonder what she is talking about?

Chapter 4: ripping off children is to easy!

So I have been thinking about how to get stronger.

And the answer is that I need to know my chakra affinity first.

All planning will be useless without!

Like if I know I have lightning affinity, I can make a lightning armor and go super speed.

Or for water, I could use water guns.

With that in mind I went to my mum:

"Jo, give me some cash"

"Don't jo me, speak normally. Besides what do you need the money for?"

"I want to go to a ninja shop and buy something for training."

My mum gave me a suspicious look.

"Why did you suddenly decide to start training"?

"Ehmm...because I have the fire of will in me and want to protect stuff...I guess"

"It is the will of fire and that half-assed response wouldn't even convince your idiotic father. But I don't think it hurts to start training before attending the academy so here you go"

She gave me 500 Ryo.

"Anyways, come home before dinner"

"Yeah mum"

By the way, normally when you reincarnate you think that having new parents would be awkward.

But since I have the same body and feelings before I regained my memories, I guess that the feeling of love for my parents kinda stuck with me.

I don't mind though, since having feelings of love is for the most part usually positive - make love not war! So I can live less dangerously!

At a small shinobi-shop, a huge crowd of kids is making loud noises.

"Hey, let's trade our figures!"

"You damn thief! I saw it first!"

Even though it's a shop that sells dangerous weapons, right now this shop also sold some shinobi action figures, which are really popular with the kids within Konoha.

There a small girl with two Chinese-style buns was looking sadly at her opened the pack.

"Uhhhh, I really wanted a Tsunade figure..."

While the girl lamented her bad luck, a grumpy looking boy walked in.

"Holy Jesus, why the hell are there so many brats there"?

"What is a Jesus" the girl wondered and observed the weird boy.

The boy seemingly ignored all the other children and walked straight to the shop counter.

"Jo, I would like to purchase some Chakra Induction Paper"

"Alright, how many would you like?"

"Just one"

"Okay that would be 2500 Ryo"

"What the...why is it so expensive?"

"Because it is made of a special tree which is grown and fed with chakra. The procedure is really troublesome, so that's why it's so expensive."

"I can't afford it...well that sucks...anyway have a nice day"

"Wait, why don't you buy a Konoha-Mystery-Hero instead? They are currently really popular with kids like yourself."

"What the hell are those?"

"Each pack contains a random hero from Konoha's history, and each having a certain rarity-level."

"Hmmm why tell hell not. My mum will be disappointed if I don't buy anything...Alright, how much does one pack cost?"

"100 Ryo"

"Okay then I will buy one"

"Would you like to choose a package yourself or just a random?"

"Just a random"

"Okay, here you go"

After purchasing a pack, with an unenthusiastic face, the boy opened it up.

"What's this? Wait, is that Tsunade? Well, I don't care, I wonder if you can get Madara out of one of these..."

While the boy wanted to leave, he felt someone pull on his shoulder:

"Uhhmm excuse me? Would you be willing to trade your Tsunade figure?"

"WHAT THE FU..."

When the boy turned around he had a shocked expression.

Is that Tenten?

I knew I would sooner or later run into a main character but it's still freaking scary!

What the hell is she even doing here?!

"Ummm so?"

?

I gave a smile

"Sorry, can you repeat what you have said?"

"I asked if you would be willing to trade your Tsunade figure..."

"You want this figure? Is it a rare figure?"

"It's medium-upper rare. But I really want in...I tried many times but didn't get even a single one..."

"Hehehe...so you really want it, huh? Okay, I will sell it to you for 2500 Ryo."

Tears started to form in her eyes: "....cant you sell it cheaper, please?"

"Nope, and the longer you make me wait, the higher the price will be. Now I will sell it only for 2600"

"WHAT?!"

"2700"

"WAIT...I...accept" - she said with tears and snot flowing down her face.

"Hey stop making that face, or others might get the wrong idea. Anyways here is your figure so don't cry."

Even though she stopped crying she is glaring at me while she takes the figure:

"I won't forgive you, you evil..."

I shrug my shoulders while thinking: well it's only Tenten so who cares.

Anyway, I now have enough money to buy a Chakra Induction Paper.

The boy who wished for love and peace not long ago just shamelessly scammed a little girl...

Chapter 5: bad feeling

I have finally a Chakra Induction Paper!

So now I can finally know my chakra affinity!

...

Wait...

I forgot that I don't even know basic chakra manipulation, so I can't send my chakra to the paper...

...

Let's ask my parents.

They should be at least be able to use basic chakra manipulation since they can use beginner ninjutsu.

While Eiji was outside shopping; at the Nakamura house, which was an inauspicious two-floor building you could find everywhere in Konoha, Kimiko and Satoshi had currently a discussion:

"Don't you think its unhealthy for a child his age to not have any friends?" -Kimiko

"I mean he is kinda mature for his age, so won't it be hard for him to get along with children of his age group?" -Satoshi

"Huh, even you can say something smart sometimes..."

"Come one, why do you have to be so mean...anyway isn't it fine since he will have enough time in the future to assemble his hare - er I mean friends?"

"I will just ignore what you tried to say. Anyway even if he is more mature than other children, it will be psychologically detrimental in the future if he can't have decent childhood experiences. A friend of mine has a daughter only 1 year older than Eiji, so how about this: I and Eiji will visit them tomorrow?"

"WAIT! If it's a girl I need to make sure his first harem member is...hey darling why did you suddenly pick up the chair?"

When I returned home, before I could ask for any training, my mother suddenly proclaimed that we will be visiting tomorrow a friend of heirs.

Why is my dad lying on the floor unmovingly?

And why do I have a bad feeling about tomorrow?

I'm currently on my way with my mum to her friend's house.

"Why the hell do you even need to drag me along with you..."

"Stop cursing. And I already said it yesterday, my friend has a daughter around your age. Since you don't really interact with children your age that much, I decided it would be best to take you along with me."

"I already know that, but what I don't understand is, why do I need to play with some stinky brats when I could do something more productive"?

"Do you mean by productive, lying in bed all day with dead fish eyes and complaining that survival is hard?"

"Hey survival IS hard, and conserving energy is healthy..."

"Well I won't teach you about chakra if you don't play with this "stinky brat" today, do you understand?"

"Yeah yeah sure whatever, boss."

"I really wonder where you learned such foul language...anyway we are almost there."

While two parents greeted each other, someone shouted suddenly.

"Ahh, it's the evil boy from yesterday!"

...

Shit, now I know why I had a bad feeling about this.

Chapter 6: the childhoodfriend of a mob can only be a mob too

A woman who wore a Chinese-style dress asked: "Oh, you already know each other, Tenten"?

"Hmph, I only know that he is a shameless scoundrel."

"Hey, it was an honest deal. Didn't I give you the figure you wanted?"

"Taking advantage of a maiden's heart makes you evil!!"

"Well well, that's enough for now you two. Why don't we all go inside first? I have some new tea you haven't tried, Kimiko."

"Oh, I'm looking forward to it."

...

Hey hey, I know Tenten had less screentime than Sakuras forehead but still...isn't it too much to have her family be friends with a total mob family?

Somehow I feel a bit bad for her...

"Hey, if you apologize now I will forgive you."

We are currently outside at a park not far from their home, since our mothers had the glorious idea to let us play outside while they enjoy some nice green tea.

Hmmm, I also like tea...I was never a coffee person - the only coffee I drank occasionally was Irish-coffee...

"STOP IGNORING ME!"

Especially when it's spring and it isn't too hot for tea...green tea was my second favorite, while my first -

"AHHHHH NOW I WON'T FORGIVE YOU!!!"

She suddenly charged at me so I moved my body a bit.

Well, that was a rather pitiful attempt.

She fell with her face straight into the ground.

Even totally wasted drunkards in my former life could fight better...

"WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH..."

And now she is crying...

...

And it's too loud to just ignore her.

"Come one stop crying, my eardrums will explode."

"WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH..."

"Hey okay, okay, I am sorry. How about this, I will let you eat as much Dango as you want as an apology."

"sniff...really?"

"Yeah"

At the Dango shop.

"You know, I said I will let you eat as much as you want but I don't have a huge amount of money with me right now..."

"Humph...well it's enough so I forgive you. Be glad that a future great kunoichi like me isn't your enemy anymore."

"A great kunoichi?" -I raise an eyebrow while future scenes of her flash in my mind.

"Stop making a face like you aren't convinced. I swear, I will become a legendary kunoichi like Tsunade!"

Wow, I didn't know that small Tenten would be saying so cheesy lines like a certain orange boy.

"Tsunade? Was that the reason why you absolutely wanted that figure?"

"Yes, she is proof that girls can be as strong as boys!"

Isn't the reason why there are so few legendary kunoichi not because of gender differences but rather because there was no female cheater with Uchiha or Senju blood?

No way I will say it out loud - my mum sometimes doubts my sanity already.

"Well considering your attack from earlier you still have a long way to go..."

"...and here I thought for a moment that you are actually not evil."

"It's the truth though. If you charge at someone you should at least make sure that you can change the direction..."

"Then teach me!"

"Huh? Why should I?"

"Because I will tell your mum that you bullied me if you don't!"

This little bitch...

"Then I won't pay for the Dango."

"WHAT? YOU SAID YOU WILL PAY FOR ME!!!!"

Fuck.

Because she shouted, the shop owner is now looking.

Now it will be hard to say that I need to use the bathroom and quietly disappear.

Looks like it's checkmate for me.

"You know that I don't know much about fighting either? So me teaching you, will be a waste of time..."

"I don't care. After making a maiden cry, you should do your utmost to make her happy."

"Haaaahhh whatever arguing with you is pointless. So okay when do you want to start our training session?"

"Tomorrow at 9 o clock."

"Well, I don't think I can decline so let's go with that."

Well looks like I got myself into a troublesome situation.

Hmmm now that I think about it, not much is known about Tenten like for example her family name...

"Hey by the way what's your family name?"

"Well...I won't tell you"

Why are you blushing?

And why is it such a big secret?

Damn, now I really want to find out!

On the way home.

"Jo mum, what's their family name by the way?"

"Don't jo me. And if you won't know why don't you just ask Tenten? Since tomorrow you two will play together again, right? Oh, wait does it mean that you finally have your first friend?"

"It's training. And I don't consider this stupid lass my friend."

"Ohh you don't have to be shy..."

"Well anyway I asked her family name and she didn't tell me."

"If she didn't tell you then I won't tell you either, hehehe" - she said that with a mischievous smile.

WHAT THE FUCK?

WHY IS IT SUCH A HUGE SECRET???

Chapter 7: Affinity

After the visit, I pestered my mum to give me a crash-course on basic chakra-control like we agreed on.

I thought it would take me longer, but the basic principles are pretty easy so I can now feel my chakra and concentrate it on specific locations albeit slowly and clunky.

So now I'm at a park looking at the Chakra Induction Paper while a certain girl with two Chinese-style buns was running in circles.

This is the moment that decides my future path.

I grin while I'm imagining myself using water-guns, breathing out fireballs, or go ultra speed with thunder around my body.

Honestly, I'm fine with every chakra affinity as long as it isn't earth or wind.

Wind is only useful If you have something like a Rasengan, and even though I know the basic principles of it, developing a budget Rasengan would be hard.

Just look at Naruto.

He used for a long time shadow clones to help him form those.

So I don't know how I can get strong fast with a wind affinity.

And earth...yeah let's not even mention it.

So this is the moment.

I slowly concentrate chakra into my left hand and then move it towards the paper on my hand.

Please no wind or earth, please no wind or earth...

The paper split in two...

AHHHHHHHH

Everything went black in front of my eyes.

While Tenten ran laps, she recalled the conversation she had with Eiji when she stopped running a while ago.

"Huff, huff...I ran now four laps, now teach me techniques or something!"

"I already told you that I don't know much about fighting either and that I cant teach you much. But if you want to get stronger the easiest and most straightforward way is to just get physically fit."

"But I don't feel like running will make me stronger..."

"Well that's because it doesn't and I just wanted to see you suffer."

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH YOU EVIL!!!.."

"Jo calm down it was just a joke. Anyway let me explain how it will make you stronger: First of all no matter how powerful your techniques are if you run out of steam then you are basically useless. Secondly, it enhances your brainpower. With constant stamina training, your body will be able to distribute oxygen more efficiently which is especially useful for the brain. When the brain has a larger amount of oxygen the benefits will be - well there are way too many to list them all."

"You know what? Sometimes you don't talk like a child..."

"Well...anyway did my explanation convince you"?

"I guess..."

"Good then keep running"

So she started running again.

After a few more laps she felt like she was dying and stopped.

"Huff, huff, Eiji huff, I'm done huff, I cant continue huff...Eiji?"

After catching some breath she looked at Eiji.

He looked like he was in a semi-unconscious state and kept repeating the same line "Existence is pain...everything is pain..." over and over again.

Sometimes he is really odd - she thought.

"Hey Eiji, wake up!"

"Waking up is pain...existence is pain..."

"Please stop, you are scaring me...if you don't stop I will rub my snot on you!"

"WHAT THE FU...hey what happened. Why did you threaten me with your snot?"

He somehow managed to get up.

"What happened? I should be the one asking you the question. I'm done with running and wanted to ask you what I should do next, but you were laying on the grass and murmured some creepy stuff."

After hearing that, he looked at his left hand, and then his expression turned expressionless like some who had given up on life.

"Oh right, it is wind...wind...I hope the wind will take me somewhere far off...wind..."

"NO, GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF! DON'T FALL BACK INTO THIS CREEPY STATE!"

"...yeah you are right. I must accept the reality that I'm a mob without cheats and have the worst kind of luck possible..."

"What weird things are you saying again? Anyway, what should I do now after running?"

"Hmm? Running? Oh, right let's call it for today. Overexercising isn't helpful. And I need to look for a rope anyway..."

"A rope?"

"Nothing... let's meet here tomorrow at the same time?"

"Alright..."

Chapter 8: new path

After coming home I calmed down a bit and decided not to buy a rope.

I have to get stronger to survive until Boruto era where the internet is developed!

Then I can hide somewhere and enjoy the infinite possibilities of the internet, while I will let others deal with those damn aliens!

Anyway, let's think about wind chakra.

The characteristics of it is to increase the sharpness of things like kunais for example.

...

No, I won't be a useless kunai-only-nin!

What can I do other with it instead of buffing kunais...hmm...

...

I have no idea.

With the other chakra natures I wanted to use scientific principles from my last life to get instantly strong: like with lightning I could fire coins like a railgun, or with water, I could maximize the pressure for water guns or bombs...but for wind, I really don't have anything I can think of...

So then let's try a different approach.

Let's think of ways without a chakra nature.

So chakra in general basically just another form of energy.

Even without ninjutsu just a huge amount of chakra alone can be devastating, just look at Lee and Guy when they open their gates, or Nature when he was buffed with Kurama's chakra - he smashed Hakus's ice mirrors just with his fists.

I can't get my hands on a tailed beast and even if I could I would be hunted by Akatsuki so it wouldn't be worth it.

So I need to think more into the direction of the eight gates.

If I remember correctly the principle behind it is that normally you can only use a portion of your chakra to protect the body from overexertion.

So If you open the gates you have more chakra but your body might not be able to handle that.

But why can Naruto's body handle so much extra chakra from Kurama?

Hmm, maybe it's because the eight gates also use the organs like letting the heart-rate go berserk so that your blood flow is extremely high?

So the eight gates not only enables you to use the stored chakra but squeezes every drop of your body's survival mode out?

Does it mean if you could just use the stored chakra, your body would be uninjured?

No, probably it's rather the opposite: it's because you let your body go into survival-mode that you can use the stored chakra.

So that means I have to find ways to increase my chakra without something like the eight gates?

But...do shinobis not have a natural chakra potential limit?

And the limit normal shinobis have is not high enough to really enhance someone physically to be able to smash unmeltable ice mirrors with your fist.

Hmm...

...

WAIT!!

If chakra is just another form of energy then the amount isn't necessarily important but the quality of it!

This means I could just accelerate the chakra through my body and then release it suddenly with a bang.

"YES I'M A FUCKING GENIUS!!!"

The door in my room slammed open.

"Eiji, I don't know what you are doing but be less loud. I could hear your yell in the whole house..."

"...I'm sorry mum..."

Anyway, I now know how to get stronger.

Starting tomorrow I will train my chakra control and slowly start to accelerate it.